Dear Husband

I am so in love with you. Even more so than the first time I realized I was in love with you. You are so loving and kind to me. You are such an amazing father. The kids are so in love with you, and I see that every time you come home. Every time you play with them.

You work so hard for this family. I love the way you love me. I love the way you love our kids. You are the only man in my life who has ever told me I'm beautiful that I ACTUALLY believe. You are the first man that I have ever been in love with. And I want you to be the last. I want to be with you forever husband!

I know I forget to tell you how much I appreciate you, but know that on a daily basis, I realize how lucky I am to have you, and how much I appreciate you. I will make a mental note to tell you every chance I get. I appreciate you for being you. I am loud, inappropriate at times, obnoxious, and blunt. You are so kind, sweet, soft spoken, and remind me nicely that I had better shut up before I hurt someone's feelings because I have no filter. :-)

Thank you for my baby. I couldn't have done it without cha ;-) She is so great! She is so fun, and so much like you. She is happy ALL the time, and smiles at me every single time she see's me. I have had alot of fun with her, and am so glad that you are so smart, and talked me into having her.

Thank you for raising the twins with me. There are a select few out there that will take on someone elses kids, and take care of them as if they were their own. You are the true definition of a man. You are an amazing father, and the twins are so very lucky to have you as their dad.

I love you husband, and can't wait to be yours for time and all eternity!

I can't wait to meet you here one day!

The foster care system in America needs to change

I was watching Dr.Phil today and it was about how the kids in foster care age out without any help. No money, health care, place to live, work ethic, etc.

When I left the foster care system at 18, that's exactly what was going to happen to me. I worked at McDonalds for a few months when I was 16, I volunteered at the Boy And Girls Club a few summers, but I hardly had a work ethic. Didn't have a job, no money, still in HS. No plans for my future... And yet, they all expected me to just know what I was doing. They gave me no resources. No resume, no money, no nothing.

I went to live with J and S for about 4mo until I moved to AZ for about a yr to live with my grandma. I was released from the state on July 4th, 2003 "My independence day" haha. *rolls eyes*

I was in a group home prior to going to live with J and S for abut 8mo. This is my perception, whether it's wrong or right, it's mine. I was the favorite girl in the home. I don't remember ever getting in trouble, I never got taken down, physically or otherwise. I got special privileges all the time. I think I even got to go out more than some of the girls. I also played therapist to some of the girls. I felt very badly for some of the girls. They were so lost, and felt so hopeless. I tried to help them realize that every action has a consequence, whether it's good or bad, there is ALWAYS a consequence.   It felt really good to know that some of those lost girls looked up to me, and would sometimes follow in my footsteps.

I was put in foster care for the first time when I was 11, was adopted at 14, and then back in foster care when I was 16. I would NEVER allow my kids to be in foster care. It breaks my heart that my niece and nephews are in foster care because my uncle cant get his act together enough to get them back. I wish there was something I could do. If my grandma were here, I KNOW she would not allow this.

I hear and read stories of foster kids being abused and it makes me sick, They are already broken kids, and then you put them in houses sometimes worse than where they originally were. They are paychecks to those foster moms and dads. They don't care about those kids. They just want their money.

Now, I'm sure there are good foster care homes out there. The two that I was in, were not. I wasn't physically abused but I was mentally and emotionally abused..

Home is not a home....

Unless you start hanging up pictures. The hubs put some pictures on the wall for me today. I figure, if we decorate, we will be more inclined to stay here, and not move for a very long time!

I am not good at decorating. I love black, and brown decor. I think yellow and red are PERFECT colors for a kitchen... And that's about it. I love black and white pictures.

I was never into decorating for the holidays either. My sister in law decorates for every holiday, and now I want to too! I have some Halloween, Christmas and Valentines day decor. But not much, this year I hope to have enough money to be able to buy things, and then right after the holiday when things are on sale, Im buying for next year.